First Date Rules

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100%, airs and graces, alcohol, app, attention, authenticity, babysitter, bad joke, bar, bargain, be present, best friend, blushes, bowling alley, call, caution, charity shop, chemistry, cocktail, compare, crying, dangers, dating game, designer clothes, despondent, disappointed, drink, ex, expectations, first date, friends, fun, good impression, gory details, high-flying career, honesty, hurt, leave, longterm relationship, love at first sight, magic, nerve-wracking experience, nervous, new friend, one that got away, person, pressure, proposal, public place, respect, restaurant, romance, safety, set up, smile, stutter, text, texting, Tiffany, Tweeting, website, wedding speech

Whether you are meeting up as the result of an app, website or are being set up by friends, going on a first date can be a nerve-wracking experience.

We know it can be tough, so have put together some tips on how to get things right so you can save your blushes, and get away with your respect intact if things aren’t working out the way you hoped they would.

Manage Your Expectations
Even before you agree to a time and place to meet, it is a good idea to just take stock of the situation. While love, at first sight, can happen, in many cases you aren’t going to a proposal over that initial cocktail. High expectations are great, but they can create pressure and if the desired connection isn’t made, you can feel disappointed and despondent. See each date as the chance to meet someone new and take it from there and don’t have the Tiffany website on your phone just in case.

Think of Your Safety
We know your date is all about having fun, but you do need to think about safety, so plan to meet for the first time in a public place be that a bar, restaurant or bowling alley. Let a friend you trust know about your plans and call or text them when you are back home. It is easy to get carried away with the romance of a first date but there can be dangers out there so there is no harm in exercising caution at the beginning of something new. You might also want to have a friend who can phone you at a set time which can give you a reason to leave if you want to and don’t drink too much alcohol as you want to be aware of what is happening around you.

Keep the Ex Chat to a Minimum
If you don’t want to put the other person off, you probably don’t want to spend the entire time talking about your ex and don’t compare them to your date. If you are back in the dating game after the end of a longterm relationship, yes it’s fine to talk about that, but going into all the gory details, or even worse crying over the one that got away, won’t do you any favours.

Be Yourself
If you want to find someone who is right for, then you need to be yourself. There is no point in putting on airs and graces to impress someone, wearing designer clothes if you love a bargain from the charity shop, or pretending to have a high-flying career and huge home if that isn’t the case. People want authenticity and honesty and even if the chemistry isn’t sizzling by the end of the evening, by being you, you might end up with a new best friend who likes you just the way you are.

Be Present
There is nothing worse than spending time with someone who isn’t present and interested. While you might need your phone for safety reasons, or to keep an eye on calls from the babysitter, why not put it in your bag and give your date 100% of your attention. Leave the texting, Tweeting, and Instagramming for later on and be in the moment while you are on your date because hopefully, that is where the magic is going to be!

Remember, They Will Be Nervous Too
Let’s be honest here and say that we know that dating can be scary, especially if you’ve been hurt in the past. Dates with someone new can be a gamble for both of you, so if they stutter or tell a bad joke, give them a chance because they might be trying to make a good impression and that bad joke may well be part of their wedding speech one day!

We hope these ideas will help ease your nerves and make you see that you need to go out with an open mind and a smile and you may just be surprised at how your first date turns out.

Pure Beauty

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Pack a thriller in your suitcase

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agoraphobic, best friend, best-selling author, bikini, bookshop, café, charming man, chic lit, children, complex web of lies, curious, dark story, date, ddebut author, dead, divorce, Don’t Close Your Eyes by Holly Seddon, edgy, epilepsy, evidence, families, fear, girl, Girl Before by JP Delaney, great reads, gripping story, heart, home alone, husband, husband and wife, innocence, journey, karma, landlord, last word, Lisa Jewell, lives alone, man, marriage, memory, mirror, missing, mistress, One Folgate Street, one session read, page turning twists and turns, Perfect Friend by Barbara Copperthwaite, pool side, protect, psychological thrillers, real, right and wrong, safety, seat, secrets, separated, sinister call, sunglasses, T. A. Cotterell, tense tale, terrifying attack, The Date by Louise Jensen, The Dead Ex by Jane Corry, The Girl on the Train, Then She Was Gone, thriller, toothbrush, tough choice, trust, truth, twin sisters, unanswered questions, What Alice Knew, young age

As well as your bikini, toothbrush, and sunglasses, if you are heading away on holiday this summer, be sure to pack a poolside thriller in your bag.

Offering something a little edgier than chic lit, psychological thrillers have seen a rise in popularity in the past couple of years and there is no end of choice when it comes to great reads.

The Perfect Friend by Barbara Copperthwaite is a truly dark story about the turn Alex’s life takes when her husband leaves her and her children won’t talk to her. All she can do is to turn to her best friend, Carrie, who knows all her secrets and is the only person she can truly trust. Carrie would she’d never let her down, or would she???

Following her divorce, Ali goes out on a date with a new man on Saturday night, but on Sunday morning, she wakes up alone with no memory of what happened to her. And when she looks in the mirror, she doesn’t recognise the face staring back at her. If you loved The Girl on the Train, then The Date by Louise Jensen is for you, and if you haven’t read The Girl on the Train – where have you been?

For a ‘one session read’, it has to be The Dead Ex by Jane Corry. A terrifying attack leaves Vicki suffering from epilepsy and without a husband after he runs away with his mistress. When a call comes to say he’s missing, she starts to believe in karma, but when evidence suggests he is dead, things get real and she needs to prove her innocence.

The Girl Before by JP Delaney is a tense tale full of page-turning twists and turns. When Jane moves into One Folgate Street, she falls in love with her beautiful minimal new, despite the bizarre rules it comes with. As the landlord, and the house, become increasingly strange, Jane becomes curious about Emma, the girl who lived there before her and starts to fear for her safety in her gripping quest to find the truth. Tip, don’t read this if you are home alone, but definitely, do read this.

Secrets in families are never a good idea and that is what is at the heart of Don’t Close Your Eyes by Holly Seddon. Twin sisters Robin and Sarah were separated at a young age and now, in their 30s, one is agoraphobic and lives alone, while the other seemingly has the perfect family and perfect life. When Sarah is accused of something terrible, she needs to track down her twin sister to put together the pieces. A gripping story that will keep you on the edge of your seat right to the very last word.

Back to the husband and wife scenario, and in What Alice Knew, debut author T. A. Cotterell, takes you on a journey of complex web of lies that will have you turning the pages in fear. From the outside, Alice has everything, that is until her husband goes missing one night. After receiving a sinister call, she faces making a tough choice that has her questioning right and wrong and wondering just how far she can go to protect those she loves.

While Then She Was Gone, by best-selling author, Lisa Jewell, isn’t new on the shelves, it is oh so worth a read. Laurel is trying to piece her life back together, 10 years after her daughter, Ellie, disappeared and seven years since her marriage fell apart. When she meets a charming man in a café, their flirtation develops into something deep, fast. Before she knows it, she’s meeting his daughters, and all those unanswered questions that have haunted her about her own child come flooding back.

Pop along to your local bookshop and buy your books before you go away and let us know what you think.

Team Pure Beauty

Make 2018 the year to go freelance

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accountant, activities, basics, best friend, Blogger, book keeper, boring, Breakfast meetings, buffer, business opportunities, business plan, cake, competition, creative, cylinders, daily commute, design websites, dream, equipment, evening event, excitement, finance, flexibility, fly solo, focus, freelance, full time freelancing, full-time job, growth, hard cash, holidays, HR, insurance, investment, IT, location, logo, love, lunches, magazine, Marketing and PR, marketing plan, mistake, money, name, new venture, offerings, out there, own boss, people, PR, professional, realistic goals, reality, research, school mate, skills, small print, social media, synergy, tax, think, unexpected costs, up and running, VAT, water cooler conversations, website

Fed up of the daily commute?

Had enough of mundane water cooler conversations?

Sick and tired of Sarah in IT and Jo in HR making your life a misery?

Then maybe it is time to go freelance.

While you might not have the security of a 9-5 role, a monthly salary or 21 days holiday a year, being your own boss does offer you flexibility and the chance to do what you love but on your terms.

We aren’t saying hand your notice in now, but have a think about what you want to do and if you consider the points below, we think you might start making that dream a reality.

Have a plan
Create a business plan that looks at finance, growth, location, activities and skills. This don’t need to be anything long or fancy but setting things out in black and white can give you a focus and realistic goals.

Network
Breakfast meetings, lunches and evening events are all greats ways to start making connections even if you are still in a full-time job. If you are nervous, why not go with a friend and then swap notes at the end of the session?

Contacts
The old saying, ‘it’s who you know not what you know’ is very true when you start a new venture. Maybe your best friend works on a magazine, your old school mate is a blogger or you know a couple of people who design websites or do PR? Make the most of the people you know and it could well be there is synergy between you and them that could lead to business opportunities.

Look at the Competition
You might be able to make a mean cake or write a really creative marketing plan – but so do loads of other people out there. Do your research, check out the competition and work out what makes you different and where your offerings would site in the market place.

Think About the Money
Let’s not beat about the bush, starting out requires hard cash investment and you are going to need this, so start planning. Look at how much money you need to start your business, what equipment you would need, and before you make a start make sure you have a buffer saved up for those unexpected costs and quiet patches. It might even be that you need to work part-time for a while to get things up and running and keep money coming in, but it will be worth it in the long run.

Marketing and PR
This is something you can do as you get ready to take the next step of full-time freelancing. Decide in a business name, get a logo, set up your social media feeds and ensure you have a website in place. All of this takes time, and money, but if you get the basics set up in the background, when you are ready to go, people will be able to find when you when you are open and firing on all cylinders.

Small Print
The excitement of setting up something new can mean the details get left behind, but this isn’t a mistake you want to make. Finding an accountant or book-keeper, registering for tax, considering VAT status and researching professional insurance might seem boring, but they need to be done and will make you more efficient and professional in the long run.

Location, Location, Location
When you work for someone else, you go to their premise day in and day out but when you fly solo it is a very different matter. You need to make sure you have a base to work from and one that is ideally close to local amenities, has a decent internet connection and phone support as well as good transport links.

Whatever you do, if you have a dream, go for it.

Team Pure-Beauty

Keep calm and actually enjoy Christmas

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3am, basket, beef, best friend, breathing space, cake, celebrate, champagne, Christmas, Christmas Eve, Christmas list, content, cup of coffee, decorate the tree, delegate, dominate, feel good, festive period, flatmates, friend, gift, good, hair, happiness, hot, hug, in the moment, in-laws, keep calm, kids, last minute, laugh, life, lifted, lunch, masses, meditate, moaning, mood, mum, negatives, online, panic buying, Pat on the Back, perspective, plan ahead, pressure, putting up the decorations, recipe for disaster, Relax, Secret Santa, serious, shopping, slow down, stock of presents, Sugar Plum Fairy, take a break, The Holiday, time off, time out, turkey, wake up, wrapping paper, yoga

Don’t laugh, we are being serious here, you can keep calm this Christmas.

Yes, there’s the shopping to do, presents to wrap and don’t even start us on the table plan for the big day, but Christmas is meant to be a happy time when you can celebrate the good in life and spend time with those you love.

Instead of being annoyed you got the rubbish Secret Santa present (again) and laying awake at 3am worrying about whether to cook turkey or beef, keep calm with our easy to follow tips and you’ll feel like the Sugar Plum Fairy all the way to 2018.

Calm Time
Think about the times in the day when you feel calm and content and go back to those moments when you feel your stress levels rising. This could be when you wake up, sip your first hot cup of coffee of the day, you get a hug from your best friend for showing up to her work drinks or when you sit watching The Holiday for the 100th time – whenever it is, go back to that point and count to ten.

Feel Good
Don’t focus on the negatives and stop yourself from moaning, about everything that needs to be done. Yes, there will things you don’t like doing over the festive period, but why don’t let those awkward in-laws dominate your thoughts and instead think of the great stuff that is happening and your mood will be lifted.

Plan Ahead
Leaving everything to the last-minute is a recipe for disaster. If you can, start early, plan your Christmas list and every-time you are out shopping, add a gift in the basket. Before you know it, you’ve got a stock of presents, and there will be no need for panic buying amongst the masses on Christmas Eve.

Be a Kid
Christmas is all about the children and because they naturally seek out fun and happiness, we think you should do the same and are pretty sure you will feel so much better for it.

Take a Break
Rather than filling every moment of every day with jobs, take time out for you too. Whether it is lunch with a friend, having your hair done or going to a yoga class, putting up the decorations and delivering cards can wait, but your happiness can’t.

Pat on the Back
Remember what you have done already. Yes, you might not have the turkey yet and Aunt Betty might not have a present under the tree, but things will get done so just remember how much you have already achieved and give yourself a pat on the back.

Delegate
You don’t have to run the Christmas show alone. Getting flatmates to decorate the tree, asking your boyfriend to buy presents for his family, asking your mum to make the cake and buying presents online, will all take the pressure off you and give you some breathing space.

Meditate
Take ten minutes out to meditate. If things are getting too much, find a quite spot, concentrate on your breathing and slow down. By being in the moment you can take back control and look at your to do list with fresh eyes and a new perspective.

Stop and Think
Think about why you love Christmas, and the good things that happen over that special time. Christmas often passes in a blur of wrapping paper and champagne corks, but if you stop, savour the moment and cherish those you love, you will realise it is all worth it.

Set a Deadline
Put a date in your diary when you stop doing things for everyone else and start enjoying yourself. We all need to take time off and relax, and that includes you.

Whatever you do this Christmas, keep calm, be grateful for what you have in your life and be happy.

Team Pure-Beauty

Free your mind

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21st century, aced it, anxious, best friend, bigger picture, bottle, brain, breath, breathing, brisk walk, changes, chill out, close friend, count to ten, desk based jobs, destructive, dwell, endorphins, enjoy, every day, face to face, focus, free fall, free your mind, fresh air, fun, harder and harder, harsh, heart beat, ideas, inside, interview, job, jump to conclusions, laugh, Life is short, Live in the moment, living, long hours, look, make a list, manageable chunks, missing out, mode, month, more to life, mum, new job, on the ball, on trend, one step, over worked, partner, positive, quick swim, regroup, Relax, revolves, right now, sit back, situation, social media, step back, stop, stressed, talk, think back, time, tired, tomorrow, under paid, week, work, world, worst-case scenarios, you

Stressed?

Over worked and under paid?

Tired?

Anxious?

Far from being words that are banded around for the sake of it, for many of us this is the reality of 21st century living.

We are expected to be on the ball, on trend and down with the kids 24/7 and sometimes, things can get a bit too much.

We have put together some easy ideas of how to free your mind so you can relax and chill out once in a while rather than constantly having your brain in free fall mode.

Breath
Before you do anything else, sit back, count to ten and breath. Focus on your breathing, feel the air go into your body and out and just stop for a few minutes and regroup.

Talk
After breathing, comes talking. If you bottle everything up, then it is only going to get worse and seem harder and harder to deal with. Open up to your partner, mum or a close friend and they may have ideas about how you can make changes and find a positive way forwards.

Live in the moment
Whatever is making you anxious right now, isn’t going to last. Breakdown what is bothering you into manageable chunks and tackle it one step at a time. For example, if you are moving house you might feel overwhelmed, but step back, make a list, work out what needs to be done and if you can, delegate.

Not this again
If you are worried about an interview, think back and see if was the same the last time you went for a new job? If it was, and you got the job, what are you worried about? You aced it last time and we bet it will be the same the time round too.

It’s not all about you!
Harsh we know, but not everything that happens in this world is about you. Yes we can all feel put upon or have our sensitive days, but thinking every situation revolves around you in some way can be really destructive and you could be missing out on a lot of fun.

Look at the bigger picture
Ask yourself whether the issue that is on your mind right now will still be there tomorrow, in a week or in a month. It is unlikely it will be, so regroup, relax and look at what is going on in the world and see there is more to life than a difficult boss or messy flatmate.

Preparing for the worst
I will lose my job. He is going to dump me. She doesn’t want to be my best friend anymore. We tend to jump to conclusions and dwell on the worst-case scenarios and this can lead to stress and depression. It is far better to talk to the person involved face to face and find out what is really going on before you make yourself ill believing the world is about to end.

Take some exercise
Social media, long hours and desk based jobs mean many of us get less exercise than ever. Try to get some fresh air every day and even if you have a brisk walk or a quick swim, your heart beat will go up and the endorphins will pump good vibes around your body.

Laugh
If nothing else, remember to laugh. Life is short so make the most of it and enjoy every single day you have.

Team Pure Beauty