How to get back on the dating scene

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Anyone who has had their heart-broken, and let’s face it, most of us have, knows that getting back on the dating scene can be tough. Your confidence may have been shattered, you may not feel like trusting anyone again and seeing your ex on Facebook with someone new might send you crashing back under your duvet not wanting to face the world ever again.

The thing is, time really is a healer and at some point you will start to feel better and will want to get out again and even meet someone new.

The temptation for many people is to get carried away and jump into a full-on relationship with the first person you meet. We aren’t saying this never works and love at first sight doesn’t happen, but if you don’t know someone very well, then getting into an intense relationship too early could spell disaster in the long-term.

We have put together some top tips you may want to consider before going out there and dating someone new.

Don’t compare them to people from your past
When you first meet someone new, it is hard not to compare them with your ex, but you need to. For any new relationship to stand a chance of going somewhere, it is best to start with a blank canvas that doesn’t have the cloud of your past experiences overshadowing the possibilities of something new. Just because your last partner was a cheat, it doesn’t mean that everyone else will have a roving eye or everyone will lie to you. You may still hold a candle for someone you thought was ‘the one’, but they weren’t and if you compare everyone to them, you could be heading for a table for one.

Put the deal-breakers on the table
You don’t want to scare someone off but sounding out deal-breakers such as marriage, kids and location is something you may want to do early on, but not in the first five minutes. If you really want to have children in the future and your date is totally against it, they aren’t going to be the one for you. If you are happy living in London and their long-term plan is to sit in the sun in Sydney, you might want to consider what life with them would be really like and if you are willing to give up your dreams so they can make theirs come true. We aren’t saying only go on one date, but if you aren’t willing to compromise, and they aren’t either, this won’t work out, so have fun, but don’t get in too deep!

Are you on the same page?
If red flags are flying, there is usually a reason for this and we would suggest that you follow your gut instincts. Maybe they’ve never had a serious relationships, it could be that they have been married four times already or maybe they are addicted to dating apps. We all have a past, but you will soon get an idea of what someone is like and whether they are on the same level as you when it comes to emotional maturity and stability.

Find common ground
They say that opposites attract, but if your date lives and breathes football, and you hate it, how will you feel when it takes up every weekend and three evenings a week? If you are a vegan and they love a burger for dinner, how does that sit with you? You love being outside and they are a keen gamer – will that be a winner for you? No one is perfect, but you do need to be with someone who shares some of your interests and values or it could be a lonely love affair.

Take it slow
Many relationship grow organically over time, alongside trust, so don’t be in a rush. If you are feeling that they are too clingy, absent or let you down time and again, address that sooner rather than later, and if you think this could be it, just take your time and see where things are going.

You deserve to be happy, so enjoy dating, find someone you really click with and trust, and once you take off the rose-tinted glasses from the past you may well find the perfect partner for your future.

Team Pure Beauty

Getting your first home in shape

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Congratulations, you are a home owner.

There is something special about taking possession of the keys to your first home and it is certainly a huge achievement.

Turning a house into a home however, can be a costly exercise, but fret not, we are here with some simple steps that will allow you to make your abode your own without doubling the mortgage.

Clean out the dirt
Even if you have bought a brand-new property, we would suggest you go in and give your new place a thorough clean before you do anything else. Dusting, hoovering, polishing and disinfecting will rid your home of any dirt and bugs and give you a totally blank canvas for the next step of your life.

Don’t blow the budget on day one
Heading straight to the High Street the moment the last box is unpacked, isn’t the best plan. It might be boring but making a list of exactly what you already have, costs nothing and could save you a small fortune. Ask yourself whether you need everything you have already got, what can be moved into other rooms and anything you don’t need can be sold, given away or donated to the charity shop.

Paint the walls
A quick lick of paint is a super easy, pretty inexpensive way to give your home an instant lift and to give it your own stamp. We would suggest going for a soft white or pale grey that can run through the entire property. If you want to make a splash in one or two rooms, go for a striking statement wall in a strong blue, mustard or pink which will offer not only a pop of colour but a glamorous edge too.

Add light with mirrors
If you want to add bursts of light to your rooms and shimmer to your walls, mirrors are the perfect solution. Strategically placing mirrors on walls will add depth and light and also give an air of sophistication if you choose ones with a gold or wooden frame.

Call in favours
If this is the first home of your own, call in the favours when it comes to essential furniture, decorations and even pots and pans. Make a list of what you need and while it might not be perfect, you will be amazed at what family and friends have in their garages and shed gathering dust and cobwebs. Start asking around, put posts on social media and go to garage sales and boot fairs and you’ll have all you need in no time and can replace with new when the time is right.

Take it one room at a time
When you are ready to do some work, take it one room at a time. As you will have seen from the TV property shows, renovation projects can be costly, stressful and often take far longer than expected. Whether you need a new kitchen, the bathroom need replacing as the current one is a ‘70s shade of avocado or the conservatory needs taking down, start at the beginning and don’t take on more than you can achieve – this is a marathon not a sprint.

Relax
Last but by no means least, please relax. You only buy your first home once, so make sure you enjoy it and realise what a massive milestone this is. One of the best parts of buying a new house is the freedom to do what you like with it, when you want, so embrace it and have fun.

Team Pure Beauty