How to put social media boundaries in place

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While social media can be a place to bring people together and share ideas and dreams, it can also lead us down a darker path and take over life.

There might be a sense of community online, but the combination of overuse and the constant need for attention and validation can be detrimental to mental wellness and distracting when it comes to productivity.

We have some top tips around how you can set up your boundaries, so you keep safe online and take what you need from social media and keep the rest away.

Set time limits
Have a think about how long you are spending on social media at the moment each day and then consider what a reasonable amount of time might be.

Two hours?
An hour?
Thirty minutes?

This is for you to decide and we are all going to be different, but what is key here is that once you choose a time limit, stick to it. Keep an eye on your watch, and look at what else you are able to do that brings you back into the real world. Facebook will still be there when you go back and that Twitter DM can wait.

Kick toxicity to the curb
If you are reading posts from a person who is always negative or are in a group that is toxic, get away. We don’t need that in our lives be that in person or online, so go through your feeds, work out what and who aren’t doing you any favours and walk away. No need for this to be a drama, just let things slip away and feel good vibes come back.

Be positive
It’s an oldie but a goodie but “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” is relevant when it comes to social media. Even if you’re speaking out against something, this can be done in a positive way if you offer alternative ideas and solutions rather than just throwing open a bag full of criticism. “I have another” can prevent discussions from becoming nasty and let you pass on your thoughts in a constructive way. Or, just move on and keep your thoughts to yourself rather than plastering it across IG for all to see.

Don’t give it all away
You might be having a bad day, you could’ve won the lottery, and your boss might have annoyed you, but you don’t have to put everything out there online. Yes, be part of the conversation but given that we don’t share everything in real life, you don’t want to let strangers know what’s up every second of the day.

Unplug
Checking social media can be a really bad habit, and an addictive one, but you do have a choice to decide when and how often you use it (see point one). Make one afternoon a week, or one day at the weekend a social media free zone and let your mind wander onto other things. Get outside, meet real friends, watch a movie or go to the beach and let the online world go on without you.

Team Pure Beauty

How to be social media savvy

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Whether you love Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or one of the other popular social media networks, making connections and keeping in touch with family and friends has never been easier, or cheaper. However, this instant means of communication can also lead to a hotbed of potential problems, so we’ve had a look at how you can prevent mishaps and keep safe and happy online.

Watch the door
There is no way you would let a complete stranger into your home, and the social media world should be no different. Accepting requests to connect with someone you don’t know can be dangerous and you really want to avoid it. It can allow people to spy on you, fraudsters can find your personal details, you can be spammed and trolled, and those people can send annoying requests to your friends too. If you don’t know someone in real life, don’t let them be a part of your social media existence either.

Tag with care
Yes, the Christmas party was fun, but Bob from IT might not want ‘that picture’ plastered across Facebook for HR to see on Monday, so just stop and think before you post photos of other people and tag them. You might think something is hilarious, but if you don’t want to lose a friend or your job stop and consider the consequences before pressing send.

Keep it real
You know the people we are talking about – the ones with the perfect feeds, amazing homes, stunning holidays and a new outfit everyday – this isn’t real, so don’t believe the hype or let it get you down. Generally, people only post what they want you to know, so take things with a pinch of salt and just go your own way.

Don’t overshare
The intimate details of your personal life are yours, so don’t share them with Twitter, because it could lead to a lot of blushes. Yes, you might hate your boss and your new boyfriend might be amazing, but the whole world doesn’t need to know every single detail. Keep social media light and fun and when things don’t go to plan, don’t blast your feed with the gossip about that either.

Is it yours to share?
Posting about your flatmate’s job interview, revealing an upcoming project at work, or talking about your sister’s engagement before she does, won’t get you any brownie points. Think before you post and if it’s someone else’s news, they have the right to tell others on their feed, before you share it on yours.

Social media isn’t a medic
Social media is a great thing, but it’s not a substitute for real medical advice. If you have a health problem, speak to your GP before sharing the nitty gritty of a tummy bug online, and never think that the well-meaning words of a friend are a given when it comes to being sick. Speak to someone in the know and keep photos of scratches and rashes to yourself.

Don’t be pushy
We all need to make a living but bombarding family and friends with requests to buy your skin care products or diet plans isn’t going to make you very popular. Yes, set up a page and let them know what you are doing, but if you push it at them all the time, you might find they start to unfriend, or even block you and that’s not what you want.

Don’t be a keyboard warrior
At the end of the day, we all have feelings, so if you say something to someone online, make sure you would also say it to their face. Don’t make social media a breeding ground for hate, instead spread happiness and love and make the world a better place.

Team Pure Beauty

The smart way to get your family screen free

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Let’s face it, many of us spend far too much time on our phones, tablets, and laptops, so now and again we need a reminder to take a screen break.

Yes, they help us work and play, but their addictive nature and glaring lights do little to help us rest.

We have some ideas of how you and your family can get back on track, spend less time online and interact with each other rather than living in a virtual reality.

Have a time limit
Five minutes on Insta can quickly turn into an hour, so having time limits early on is a great idea. No screens before breakfast, a couple of hours at the weekend, nothing an hour before bed and a screen ban in bedrooms can all help to get the balance right and save squabbles later on.

Keep an eye on the remote
In our digital age we often forget the impact of the mere TV screen, but you should monitor this as well. Does the TV really need to be on all the time? Is binge watching box sets the best use of family time together and do the kids watch age appropriate shows? Decide on family rules about the TV, don’t leave it on just because it’s easy and if all else fails, hide the remote!

Rethink TV dinners
Yes, a pizza and movie at the weekend is a treat and can bring you all together, but TV dinners every night might not be the way to go. Open plan living and kitchen diners mean that it’s super easy to eat a bowl of pesto pasta on your knee as you watch Netflix but eating together at the table and catching up on your news can be so much better, and if you cook together that is even better!

Digital detox
There might be protests, but even an hour of screen free time on Sunday can help make some big changes. Putting down the phones and tablets and going out for a walk in the park, having a swim or meeting up with friends will give you time together as a family and while you might not get any photos for Facebook, you will make some lovely memories.

Take back control
When it comes to kids and devices, you do have the option of taking back control and putting restrictions in place. There are various apps out there that allow you to block and filter usage and you can put a timer on the internet, or just turn it off altogether. While asking for passwords might not be your thing, knowing what they are doing online and who they’re talking to, is probably a smart move, even if it is an unpopular one as they get older.

Practise what you preach
If you’re looking at your emails or Facebook feed while you eat breakfast, your children are likely to think they can do the same. If you want your family to agree to changes, you need to ensure you are following the rules as well or you might have a real battle on your hands.

We don’t say you have to do anything drastic now, but doing one or two things differently could bring you closer together.

Team Pure Beauty

How to get back on the dating scene

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absent, app, blank canvas, cheat, click, clingy, cloud, compare, confidence, date, dating, dating app, dating scene, deal breaker, deep, dreams, duvet, emotional maturity, ex, Facebook, football, full-on relationship, fun, gamer, grow, gut instincts, heart broken, hobbies, hurt, intense relationship, interests, kids, lie, London, love, love affair, love at first sight, marriage, married, meet, new, opposites attract, past experiences, perfect, perfect partner, red flag, relationship, rose tinted glasses, rush, scare off, serious relationship, shattered, stability, Sydney, take it slow, the one, top tip, trust, Vegan

Anyone who has had their heart-broken, and let’s face it, most of us have, knows that getting back on the dating scene can be tough. Your confidence may have been shattered, you may not feel like trusting anyone again and seeing your ex on Facebook with someone new might send you crashing back under your duvet not wanting to face the world ever again.

The thing is, time really is a healer and at some point you will start to feel better and will want to get out again and even meet someone new.

The temptation for many people is to get carried away and jump into a full-on relationship with the first person you meet. We aren’t saying this never works and love at first sight doesn’t happen, but if you don’t know someone very well, then getting into an intense relationship too early could spell disaster in the long-term.

We have put together some top tips you may want to consider before going out there and dating someone new.

Don’t compare them to people from your past
When you first meet someone new, it is hard not to compare them with your ex, but you need to. For any new relationship to stand a chance of going somewhere, it is best to start with a blank canvas that doesn’t have the cloud of your past experiences overshadowing the possibilities of something new. Just because your last partner was a cheat, it doesn’t mean that everyone else will have a roving eye or everyone will lie to you. You may still hold a candle for someone you thought was ‘the one’, but they weren’t and if you compare everyone to them, you could be heading for a table for one.

Put the deal-breakers on the table
You don’t want to scare someone off but sounding out deal-breakers such as marriage, kids and location is something you may want to do early on, but not in the first five minutes. If you really want to have children in the future and your date is totally against it, they aren’t going to be the one for you. If you are happy living in London and their long-term plan is to sit in the sun in Sydney, you might want to consider what life with them would be really like and if you are willing to give up your dreams so they can make theirs come true. We aren’t saying only go on one date, but if you aren’t willing to compromise, and they aren’t either, this won’t work out, so have fun, but don’t get in too deep!

Are you on the same page?
If red flags are flying, there is usually a reason for this and we would suggest that you follow your gut instincts. Maybe they’ve never had a serious relationships, it could be that they have been married four times already or maybe they are addicted to dating apps. We all have a past, but you will soon get an idea of what someone is like and whether they are on the same level as you when it comes to emotional maturity and stability.

Find common ground
They say that opposites attract, but if your date lives and breathes football, and you hate it, how will you feel when it takes up every weekend and three evenings a week? If you are a vegan and they love a burger for dinner, how does that sit with you? You love being outside and they are a keen gamer – will that be a winner for you? No one is perfect, but you do need to be with someone who shares some of your interests and values or it could be a lonely love affair.

Take it slow
Many relationship grow organically over time, alongside trust, so don’t be in a rush. If you are feeling that they are too clingy, absent or let you down time and again, address that sooner rather than later, and if you think this could be it, just take your time and see where things are going.

You deserve to be happy, so enjoy dating, find someone you really click with and trust, and once you take off the rose-tinted glasses from the past you may well find the perfect partner for your future.

Team Pure Beauty

How to update your clothes, rather than throw them away

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biker jacket, boots, brush, buff, buttons, carbon footprint, charity shop, clashing prints, contrasting colours, dresses, Facebook, fitted top, flared jeans, flat pumps, flattering silhouette, gap, handbags, heels, hems, hoodie, jackets, jeans, jewellery, joggers and sweatshirts, jumpers, lace vest, layering, leather, leopard print cardigan, likes, long-sleeved t-shirt, midi dress, money-making side hustle, needle and thread, new clothes, on-trend edge, outfit, palazzo pants, professional bra fitting, rag, season, sewing machine, shape-wear, shirts, shoes, slouchy sweater, sustainability, thick knit, throw away fashion, transform, underwear, update, wardrobe, warm, white trainers

It is super easy to buy new clothes all the time because the prices are so low, but throw away fashion won’t do the environment any good, even if it does increase your Facebook likes. We have been looking at how you can update and transform the contents of your wardrobe, without adding to your carbon footprint.

Find a tailor
We understand that you want to look your best, so why not get changes made to the clothes you love so they look really fantastic? Adding darts to shirts and jackets, taking up hems and swapping buttons are all small things that can have a big impact. If you are a dab hand with a needle and thread, or have a sewing machine, you can make these changes yourself and you never know, it could turn into a money-making side hustle for you too.

Fitted, not baggy
OK, we know there are some days when you want to kick back in your joggers and sweatshirts, but most of us look better when our clothes fit us well. If you love palazzo pants, then add a fitted top and heels to give you a smart look, and pair those flared jeans with a long-sleeved t-shirt, leopard print cardigan and white trainers, for a casual look, with an on-trend edge?

New polish, not new shoes
It is amazing how a tin of polish can make a massive difference to your shoes, boots and even handbags. Use a clean brush to apply the polish, then buff up the leather with a rag (cut up and an old t-shirt, if we are thinking of sustainability) and watch your beloved possessions come back to life, and sparkle in a whole new light.

Think about underwear
Maybe you don’t need a lot of new clothes, you just need some decent underwear that works with, rather than against, your body. Shape-wear will instantly make your clothes feel better and create a flattering silhouette, and with a wide range of options out there, you are bound to find something that’s right for you. In the same vein, why not have a professional bra fitting and see the difference the right bra will make to your t-shirts, dresses and jumpers.

Layer it up
Layering isn’t just a way to keep you warm, it is also a really easy way to breathe life into your existing wardrobe. Putting a thick knit over a midi dress, wearing a lace vest under a slouchy sweater, and bringing dungarees to life with a Breton t-shirt are all ways to change an outfit in an instant. Think about creating new looks with contrasting colours and clashing prints and rather than one big coat, layering a biker jacket with a hoodie is an easy look that will take you from one season to another.

Mix and match
Mixing and matching your clothes will make them work harder for you, so don’t keep anything for best. That beautiful dress you wore to a wedding, can be made casual with a fitted jacket and flat pumps, jeans can instantly be made stylish with heels and a silk shirt, and remember that jewellery can brighten up anything, so don’t leave it in the box gathering dust.

If there are items you don’t need anymore, take them to the charity shop which can also be your first port of call if you have a gap in your wardrobe, but don’t want to buy brand new.

Team Pure Beauty