How to deal with a break up

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If you received a broken heart for Christmas, we really feel your pain because we know only too well that dealing with a break up can be really tough.

Whether you are feeling sad, angry, betrayed or confused, don’t worry, these are all natural responses when a relationship ends, and while we know there is no quick fix, we do have some ideas to help you get back on track again.

Press delete
Social media makes it possible to hold onto your ex for longer than you may have done in the past, so we suggest you delete them for once and for all. Yes, you might want to see what they are up to, but the more you check Facebook and Instagram, the harder it is going to be to let go, so delete them right now. Blocking might feel harsh, but it has to be better than agonising who that girl is in the photo and if you are still feeling upset several months down the line and they change their relationship status, you don’t want to know. So go on, do it now and ask other people not to tell you what is happening with you ex too!

Cry
Everybody hurts sometimes, so after a break up spend some time alone and have a good cry, get those feelings out there and yes, feel sorry for yourself, it’s allowed.

Give it time
Whether you were the one to make the break, or the one who was dumped, you need time to get over the end of a relationship. You have been on holiday together, maybe shared a home, have the same friends and then there’s ‘your song’ and none of those things are going to be erased in a few days. Time is a healer, so give yourself that space and over the coming weeks and months, things will get easier and you will start to see the sunshine again.

Talk about it
Yes, you will want to be alone to heal your pain, but you don’t want to become a recluse. Spending time talking to the friends and family you love and who make you smile, is so important and will help you feel connected and supported. Whether you talk about your break up, the reasons why or what to do next, chatting with people you trust not only gives you another point of view, but it can be a distraction from your thoughts which can be a huge help. Try not to bottle things up as that can make things worse and if you get to the point when you just can’t see the wood for the trees, maybe speak to your GP.

Get moving
Yes, watch those sad films and get into bed with your hot water bottle and onesie, but it is also important to get up and move about. Having those feel good endorphins pumping around your body can be a great way to heal and help you to move forward. Going for a run, taking a dance class or jumping on your bike can all help deal with your stress levels, boost your mood and you will be distracted from your heartache.

Treat yourself
After a breakup you might not want to do anything nice for yourself but it is one way to reboot, and you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else again. Now is the time to treat yourself to something that will make you feel good, and whether it is a facial, coffee with friends or a trip to the cinema, doing this is key to healing and will help you to smile again. Remember – you’re worth it!

Do it in your own time
While we have given you some ideas of how to feel better, there is no timescale for this. You are human and will deal with your emotions in your own time and own way. Mending a broken heart is a marathon, not a sprint, so don’t compare yourself to anyone else, go at your own pace and as you are kinder to yourself, you will start to feel happy again.

Team Pure Beauty

Pack a thriller in your suitcase

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agoraphobic, best friend, best-selling author, bikini, bookshop, café, charming man, chic lit, children, complex web of lies, curious, dark story, date, ddebut author, dead, divorce, Don’t Close Your Eyes by Holly Seddon, edgy, epilepsy, evidence, families, fear, girl, Girl Before by JP Delaney, great reads, gripping story, heart, home alone, husband, husband and wife, innocence, journey, karma, landlord, last word, Lisa Jewell, lives alone, man, marriage, memory, mirror, missing, mistress, One Folgate Street, one session read, page turning twists and turns, Perfect Friend by Barbara Copperthwaite, pool side, protect, psychological thrillers, real, right and wrong, safety, seat, secrets, separated, sinister call, sunglasses, T. A. Cotterell, tense tale, terrifying attack, The Date by Louise Jensen, The Dead Ex by Jane Corry, The Girl on the Train, Then She Was Gone, thriller, toothbrush, tough choice, trust, truth, twin sisters, unanswered questions, What Alice Knew, young age

As well as your bikini, toothbrush, and sunglasses, if you are heading away on holiday this summer, be sure to pack a poolside thriller in your bag.

Offering something a little edgier than chic lit, psychological thrillers have seen a rise in popularity in the past couple of years and there is no end of choice when it comes to great reads.

The Perfect Friend by Barbara Copperthwaite is a truly dark story about the turn Alex’s life takes when her husband leaves her and her children won’t talk to her. All she can do is to turn to her best friend, Carrie, who knows all her secrets and is the only person she can truly trust. Carrie would she’d never let her down, or would she???

Following her divorce, Ali goes out on a date with a new man on Saturday night, but on Sunday morning, she wakes up alone with no memory of what happened to her. And when she looks in the mirror, she doesn’t recognise the face staring back at her. If you loved The Girl on the Train, then The Date by Louise Jensen is for you, and if you haven’t read The Girl on the Train – where have you been?

For a ‘one session read’, it has to be The Dead Ex by Jane Corry. A terrifying attack leaves Vicki suffering from epilepsy and without a husband after he runs away with his mistress. When a call comes to say he’s missing, she starts to believe in karma, but when evidence suggests he is dead, things get real and she needs to prove her innocence.

The Girl Before by JP Delaney is a tense tale full of page-turning twists and turns. When Jane moves into One Folgate Street, she falls in love with her beautiful minimal new, despite the bizarre rules it comes with. As the landlord, and the house, become increasingly strange, Jane becomes curious about Emma, the girl who lived there before her and starts to fear for her safety in her gripping quest to find the truth. Tip, don’t read this if you are home alone, but definitely, do read this.

Secrets in families are never a good idea and that is what is at the heart of Don’t Close Your Eyes by Holly Seddon. Twin sisters Robin and Sarah were separated at a young age and now, in their 30s, one is agoraphobic and lives alone, while the other seemingly has the perfect family and perfect life. When Sarah is accused of something terrible, she needs to track down her twin sister to put together the pieces. A gripping story that will keep you on the edge of your seat right to the very last word.

Back to the husband and wife scenario, and in What Alice Knew, debut author T. A. Cotterell, takes you on a journey of complex web of lies that will have you turning the pages in fear. From the outside, Alice has everything, that is until her husband goes missing one night. After receiving a sinister call, she faces making a tough choice that has her questioning right and wrong and wondering just how far she can go to protect those she loves.

While Then She Was Gone, by best-selling author, Lisa Jewell, isn’t new on the shelves, it is oh so worth a read. Laurel is trying to piece her life back together, 10 years after her daughter, Ellie, disappeared and seven years since her marriage fell apart. When she meets a charming man in a café, their flirtation develops into something deep, fast. Before she knows it, she’s meeting his daughters, and all those unanswered questions that have haunted her about her own child come flooding back.

Pop along to your local bookshop and buy your books before you go away and let us know what you think.

Team Pure Beauty