How to get back on the dating scene

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Anyone who has had their heart-broken, and let’s face it, most of us have, knows that getting back on the dating scene can be tough. Your confidence may have been shattered, you may not feel like trusting anyone again and seeing your ex on Facebook with someone new might send you crashing back under your duvet not wanting to face the world ever again.

The thing is, time really is a healer and at some point you will start to feel better and will want to get out again and even meet someone new.

The temptation for many people is to get carried away and jump into a full-on relationship with the first person you meet. We aren’t saying this never works and love at first sight doesn’t happen, but if you don’t know someone very well, then getting into an intense relationship too early could spell disaster in the long-term.

We have put together some top tips you may want to consider before going out there and dating someone new.

Don’t compare them to people from your past
When you first meet someone new, it is hard not to compare them with your ex, but you need to. For any new relationship to stand a chance of going somewhere, it is best to start with a blank canvas that doesn’t have the cloud of your past experiences overshadowing the possibilities of something new. Just because your last partner was a cheat, it doesn’t mean that everyone else will have a roving eye or everyone will lie to you. You may still hold a candle for someone you thought was ‘the one’, but they weren’t and if you compare everyone to them, you could be heading for a table for one.

Put the deal-breakers on the table
You don’t want to scare someone off but sounding out deal-breakers such as marriage, kids and location is something you may want to do early on, but not in the first five minutes. If you really want to have children in the future and your date is totally against it, they aren’t going to be the one for you. If you are happy living in London and their long-term plan is to sit in the sun in Sydney, you might want to consider what life with them would be really like and if you are willing to give up your dreams so they can make theirs come true. We aren’t saying only go on one date, but if you aren’t willing to compromise, and they aren’t either, this won’t work out, so have fun, but don’t get in too deep!

Are you on the same page?
If red flags are flying, there is usually a reason for this and we would suggest that you follow your gut instincts. Maybe they’ve never had a serious relationships, it could be that they have been married four times already or maybe they are addicted to dating apps. We all have a past, but you will soon get an idea of what someone is like and whether they are on the same level as you when it comes to emotional maturity and stability.

Find common ground
They say that opposites attract, but if your date lives and breathes football, and you hate it, how will you feel when it takes up every weekend and three evenings a week? If you are a vegan and they love a burger for dinner, how does that sit with you? You love being outside and they are a keen gamer – will that be a winner for you? No one is perfect, but you do need to be with someone who shares some of your interests and values or it could be a lonely love affair.

Take it slow
Many relationship grow organically over time, alongside trust, so don’t be in a rush. If you are feeling that they are too clingy, absent or let you down time and again, address that sooner rather than later, and if you think this could be it, just take your time and see where things are going.

You deserve to be happy, so enjoy dating, find someone you really click with and trust, and once you take off the rose-tinted glasses from the past you may well find the perfect partner for your future.

Team Pure Beauty

Take the stress out of your work day

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Let’s face it, even when you love your job, have a great boss and colleagues you get on well with, work can get stressful.

Commutes, long hours, computer screens and being contactable pretty much 24/7 thanks to mobile devices and the digital age, means work can take over your life if you aren’t careful.

What many of us don’t realise is that while a little adrenaline can keep us on our toes, ongoing stress can have a negative impact on our health, relationships, sleep and if you aren’t careful it can cause burn out.

We have looked at some easy ways of taking care of yourself while keeping your career on track.

Know what’s important
We are constantly saying we are busy, but don’t make this a reason to be late, tried and in the end, less productive. Each morning before you look at emails or make any calls, write a list of what you need to do that day and check on any meetings that have been scheduled. When you prioritise your workload, it is easier to have a stress-free day and if additional tasks come in, look at just how important they are before dropping your original plans.

Learn to say no
We are conditioned to say yes, but doing so can pile on the stress and make you less efficient. It isn’t easy to say no to a new project from your boss, especially when a promotion is on the cards, but if things feel too much, sit down with them and look at where other tasks can be delegated and what the deadlines are – tomorrow isn’t always realistic.

Take breaks
If you spend most of your day at a desk, you need to get up, walk away and take regular breaks. Making a cup of tea, walking to talk to a colleague, going to the post room and even making a phone call in reception are simple but effective ways to have a break from sitting down and staring straight ahead. When it comes to lunch time, it might be tempting to sit and work through your to-do list, but this is the perfect time to get away from it all. Go for a walk, have lunch at a local coffee shop or pack sandwiches and head to the park and clear your head.

Meditate at work
Meditation isn’t just for yoga classes and a quick session at your desk can really help bring clarity to your day. Even if you are having a super busy time, downing tools for five minutes, taking stock of your breathing and taking a step back can help increase your productivity levels and leave you feeling energised. There are loads of great books and apps out there, we like Buddhify, so have a look around and find something that works for you.

Work-life balance
We know it sounds like meaningless jargon, but it is vital to plan your free time as well as work diary to get the right balance. Having a mix of hobbies, a group of friends to meet up with, gym membership or regular Zumba class to attend, will all help you turn off from work and relax.

Book a holiday
Just as you need to take a break in the day, you also need to use your holiday time. We aren’t saying take a full two weeks, but a long weekend with the girls or a mini break by the sea can really revive you and you will go back into work feeling refreshed and smiling.

So, if you want to be more productive and less stressed, take time out for you and we think you will see a difference.

Team Pure Beauty

Get a Hobby!

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Do you find yourself spending your evenings in front of the TV, mindlessly flicking through the channels and wishing that there was something better to do? Do you sometimes feel a void and wish you could fill it with something just for you? If so then it might be a good time for you to get a new hobby. Having a hobby can be great for keeping the mind sharp, and has been linked to lowering blood pressure, enhancing the immune system and keeping age-related diseases such as Alzheimer’s at bay. Here’s a little bit of inspiration if you need some ideas of what to do with your spare time.

Dancing

A few years back, there was a bit of a revolution in the world of dance classes and doing this sort of thing became hugely popular again, which opened up a whole new range of classes. Instead of the usual ballroom or tap you could now choose from hip hop, belly-dancing, salsa and much more beyond. Try a class which is challenging and fun, and use some Elemis Treat Your Feet Foot Cream once you get home!

Cooking

Cooking is a hobby which can be done alone or in groups, either in your own kitchen or in a class. Certain supermarkets have test kitchens which offer adult cooking classes and give you the chance to learn a new skill and mingle with likeminded people at the same time. Try a class in a cuisine you’re less familiar with to maximise your learning potential.

Gardening

It might sound bonkers but you don’t actually need a big garden in order to take up gardening! There are loads of indoor options for growing such as miniature kitchen gardens, as well as balcony or even window box kits that you can use for growing flowers or veg. If you do have a garden, even better, but do remember to take care of your hands with Elemis Jasmine and Rose Hand and Nail Cream after a long day of sifting through soil!

Sewing

Sewing as a hobby can be so rewarding; you spend time and effort doing intricate work and you’ve usually got something beautiful to show for all of it. If you don’t fancy doing it all by hand, there are some reasonably priced sewing machines on the market which allow you to work at a more polished level.

Blogging

A lot of people would see the word ‘blog’ and immediately think “that’s not for me!” but blogging can be anything that you make it. Ultimately, a blog is your own little corner of the internet and can be used as a place to document whatever you want, even if it’s just as a memoir for your kids and grandkids to read in the future. Writing can be hugely cathartic and will help to keep your mind sharp.