How to get back on the dating scene

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Anyone who has had their heart-broken, and let’s face it, most of us have, knows that getting back on the dating scene can be tough. Your confidence may have been shattered, you may not feel like trusting anyone again and seeing your ex on Facebook with someone new might send you crashing back under your duvet not wanting to face the world ever again.

The thing is, time really is a healer and at some point you will start to feel better and will want to get out again and even meet someone new.

The temptation for many people is to get carried away and jump into a full-on relationship with the first person you meet. We aren’t saying this never works and love at first sight doesn’t happen, but if you don’t know someone very well, then getting into an intense relationship too early could spell disaster in the long-term.

We have put together some top tips you may want to consider before going out there and dating someone new.

Don’t compare them to people from your past
When you first meet someone new, it is hard not to compare them with your ex, but you need to. For any new relationship to stand a chance of going somewhere, it is best to start with a blank canvas that doesn’t have the cloud of your past experiences overshadowing the possibilities of something new. Just because your last partner was a cheat, it doesn’t mean that everyone else will have a roving eye or everyone will lie to you. You may still hold a candle for someone you thought was ‘the one’, but they weren’t and if you compare everyone to them, you could be heading for a table for one.

Put the deal-breakers on the table
You don’t want to scare someone off but sounding out deal-breakers such as marriage, kids and location is something you may want to do early on, but not in the first five minutes. If you really want to have children in the future and your date is totally against it, they aren’t going to be the one for you. If you are happy living in London and their long-term plan is to sit in the sun in Sydney, you might want to consider what life with them would be really like and if you are willing to give up your dreams so they can make theirs come true. We aren’t saying only go on one date, but if you aren’t willing to compromise, and they aren’t either, this won’t work out, so have fun, but don’t get in too deep!

Are you on the same page?
If red flags are flying, there is usually a reason for this and we would suggest that you follow your gut instincts. Maybe they’ve never had a serious relationships, it could be that they have been married four times already or maybe they are addicted to dating apps. We all have a past, but you will soon get an idea of what someone is like and whether they are on the same level as you when it comes to emotional maturity and stability.

Find common ground
They say that opposites attract, but if your date lives and breathes football, and you hate it, how will you feel when it takes up every weekend and three evenings a week? If you are a vegan and they love a burger for dinner, how does that sit with you? You love being outside and they are a keen gamer – will that be a winner for you? No one is perfect, but you do need to be with someone who shares some of your interests and values or it could be a lonely love affair.

Take it slow
Many relationship grow organically over time, alongside trust, so don’t be in a rush. If you are feeling that they are too clingy, absent or let you down time and again, address that sooner rather than later, and if you think this could be it, just take your time and see where things are going.

You deserve to be happy, so enjoy dating, find someone you really click with and trust, and once you take off the rose-tinted glasses from the past you may well find the perfect partner for your future.

Team Pure Beauty

Pack a thriller in your suitcase

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agoraphobic, best friend, best-selling author, bikini, bookshop, café, charming man, chic lit, children, complex web of lies, curious, dark story, date, ddebut author, dead, divorce, Don’t Close Your Eyes by Holly Seddon, edgy, epilepsy, evidence, families, fear, girl, Girl Before by JP Delaney, great reads, gripping story, heart, home alone, husband, husband and wife, innocence, journey, karma, landlord, last word, Lisa Jewell, lives alone, man, marriage, memory, mirror, missing, mistress, One Folgate Street, one session read, page turning twists and turns, Perfect Friend by Barbara Copperthwaite, pool side, protect, psychological thrillers, real, right and wrong, safety, seat, secrets, separated, sinister call, sunglasses, T. A. Cotterell, tense tale, terrifying attack, The Date by Louise Jensen, The Dead Ex by Jane Corry, The Girl on the Train, Then She Was Gone, thriller, toothbrush, tough choice, trust, truth, twin sisters, unanswered questions, What Alice Knew, young age

As well as your bikini, toothbrush, and sunglasses, if you are heading away on holiday this summer, be sure to pack a poolside thriller in your bag.

Offering something a little edgier than chic lit, psychological thrillers have seen a rise in popularity in the past couple of years and there is no end of choice when it comes to great reads.

The Perfect Friend by Barbara Copperthwaite is a truly dark story about the turn Alex’s life takes when her husband leaves her and her children won’t talk to her. All she can do is to turn to her best friend, Carrie, who knows all her secrets and is the only person she can truly trust. Carrie would she’d never let her down, or would she???

Following her divorce, Ali goes out on a date with a new man on Saturday night, but on Sunday morning, she wakes up alone with no memory of what happened to her. And when she looks in the mirror, she doesn’t recognise the face staring back at her. If you loved The Girl on the Train, then The Date by Louise Jensen is for you, and if you haven’t read The Girl on the Train – where have you been?

For a ‘one session read’, it has to be The Dead Ex by Jane Corry. A terrifying attack leaves Vicki suffering from epilepsy and without a husband after he runs away with his mistress. When a call comes to say he’s missing, she starts to believe in karma, but when evidence suggests he is dead, things get real and she needs to prove her innocence.

The Girl Before by JP Delaney is a tense tale full of page-turning twists and turns. When Jane moves into One Folgate Street, she falls in love with her beautiful minimal new, despite the bizarre rules it comes with. As the landlord, and the house, become increasingly strange, Jane becomes curious about Emma, the girl who lived there before her and starts to fear for her safety in her gripping quest to find the truth. Tip, don’t read this if you are home alone, but definitely, do read this.

Secrets in families are never a good idea and that is what is at the heart of Don’t Close Your Eyes by Holly Seddon. Twin sisters Robin and Sarah were separated at a young age and now, in their 30s, one is agoraphobic and lives alone, while the other seemingly has the perfect family and perfect life. When Sarah is accused of something terrible, she needs to track down her twin sister to put together the pieces. A gripping story that will keep you on the edge of your seat right to the very last word.

Back to the husband and wife scenario, and in What Alice Knew, debut author T. A. Cotterell, takes you on a journey of complex web of lies that will have you turning the pages in fear. From the outside, Alice has everything, that is until her husband goes missing one night. After receiving a sinister call, she faces making a tough choice that has her questioning right and wrong and wondering just how far she can go to protect those she loves.

While Then She Was Gone, by best-selling author, Lisa Jewell, isn’t new on the shelves, it is oh so worth a read. Laurel is trying to piece her life back together, 10 years after her daughter, Ellie, disappeared and seven years since her marriage fell apart. When she meets a charming man in a café, their flirtation develops into something deep, fast. Before she knows it, she’s meeting his daughters, and all those unanswered questions that have haunted her about her own child come flooding back.

Pop along to your local bookshop and buy your books before you go away and let us know what you think.

Team Pure Beauty

Beauty Focus: Mother of the Bride

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ageing, anti ageing, anti-oxidant, bride, Decleor Lift and Firm Day Cream – Normal Skin, Decleor Lift and Firm Eye Cream, Decleor Youth Cleansing Milk, dehydrated, Dermalogica Age Reversal Eye Complex, Dermalogica Antioxidant HydraMist, eye, fine lines, firm, free radicals, hyaluronic acid, hydration, lift, marriage, mother, mother of the bride, parabens, Pea Extract, plumping, quench, wedding, wrinkles, youth, youthful

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So, your daughter is getting married this year and you want to get your beauty routine dialled in so that you look your best on the big day? Well, first of all, congratulations! And secondly, step right this way because we’ve got a whole selection of products which are perfect for women “of a certain age” who want to perfect their complexion.

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Dermalogica Age Reversal Eye Complex

The eyes are a key area to attack when trying to improve the signs of aging, so this cream from Dermalogica is a must-have for any Mother of the Bride. Not only will it actively reverse the signs of aging such as fine lines and wrinkles, it will also prevent further signs of aging from happening. It’s a powerful but incredibly delicate formulation which is perfect for even the most sensitive of skin.

Decleor Youth Cleansing Milk

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Dermalogica Antioxidant HydraMist

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Decleor Lift and Firm Eye Cream

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