How to put social media boundaries in place

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While social media can be a place to bring people together and share ideas and dreams, it can also lead us down a darker path and take over life.

There might be a sense of community online, but the combination of overuse and the constant need for attention and validation can be detrimental to mental wellness and distracting when it comes to productivity.

We have some top tips around how you can set up your boundaries, so you keep safe online and take what you need from social media and keep the rest away.

Set time limits
Have a think about how long you are spending on social media at the moment each day and then consider what a reasonable amount of time might be.

Two hours?
An hour?
Thirty minutes?

This is for you to decide and we are all going to be different, but what is key here is that once you choose a time limit, stick to it. Keep an eye on your watch, and look at what else you are able to do that brings you back into the real world. Facebook will still be there when you go back and that Twitter DM can wait.

Kick toxicity to the curb
If you are reading posts from a person who is always negative or are in a group that is toxic, get away. We don’t need that in our lives be that in person or online, so go through your feeds, work out what and who aren’t doing you any favours and walk away. No need for this to be a drama, just let things slip away and feel good vibes come back.

Be positive
It’s an oldie but a goodie but “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” is relevant when it comes to social media. Even if you’re speaking out against something, this can be done in a positive way if you offer alternative ideas and solutions rather than just throwing open a bag full of criticism. “I have another” can prevent discussions from becoming nasty and let you pass on your thoughts in a constructive way. Or, just move on and keep your thoughts to yourself rather than plastering it across IG for all to see.

Don’t give it all away
You might be having a bad day, you could’ve won the lottery, and your boss might have annoyed you, but you don’t have to put everything out there online. Yes, be part of the conversation but given that we don’t share everything in real life, you don’t want to let strangers know what’s up every second of the day.

Unplug
Checking social media can be a really bad habit, and an addictive one, but you do have a choice to decide when and how often you use it (see point one). Make one afternoon a week, or one day at the weekend a social media free zone and let your mind wander onto other things. Get outside, meet real friends, watch a movie or go to the beach and let the online world go on without you.

Team Pure Beauty

Read up on feeling great this January

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anxiety, balance, balanced, be happy, Be You, Becky Goddard-Hill, best books, body and soul, brilliant business advice, change, changes, cheer leading, Chillpreneur, criticism, cup of tea, Denise Duffield-Thomas, dip in, dip out book, Down-to-earth, downtime, Dr Chatterjee, easy to do a, easy to read, Everything is Figureoutable, Feel Better In 5, five minutes, good book, Good Lives, Good Vibes, gurus, hard work, imposter syndrome, inspire, Insta, Insta guru, journal, kids, lasting happiness, library, Marie Forleo, millionaire mindset lessons, mind, money, money mindset coach, motivated, negative emotions, New Year, New York Times bestseller., pen, Penny Alexandra, perfect, positive, progress, resolution, right foot, round-up, spark a little joy, success, teenagers, time, time poor, Vex King, young adults

We all set out to be the best we can at the start of the new year.

While no one keeps to every resolution, sometimes a good book and a little cheerleading can help you get off on the right foot, and stay balanced as well as motivated to change.

We have done a round-up of what we think are the best books out there, and hope one or two will spark a little joy (no, we haven’t added ‘that one’).

Denise Duffield-Thomas is a fantastic money mindset coach, but it’s her humour and down-to-earth wisdom that sets her apart from other gurus. While she has three books out there, in Chillpreneur she shares brilliant business advice and millionaire mindset lessons that help you become a success, the chilled way. Yes, you have to do the hard work, but this is perfect for anyone who wants to be a success but likes to have a little balance and downtime as well.

Unless you have been hiding out at home, you will know about Marie Forleo, and now you can learn that Everything is Figureoutable in her New York Times bestseller. By the end of the book you will be able to deal with criticism and imposter syndrome, bouncing back from hard times will seem possible, and you can start to see how you can overcome a lack of time and money. You might not become perfect, but you will make progress.

If you are time poor but really want to make changes in your life this year, then Dr Chatterjee‘s third book is for you. Feel Better In 5 is a daily plan that helps you get the life you want, in only five minutes of your day. Easy to read, easy to do and with real life case studies and fun exercises, this can help get your mind, body and soul in shape and in less time than it takes to make a cup of tea – peppermint of course.

Be Happy, Be You, says it is for teenagers, but this great little book can help pretty much anyone out there who needs a little bit of a boost. Penny Alexandra and Becky Goddard-Hill have created a dip in, dip out book that helps kids and young adults deal with anxiety and generally live a better life, the fun way. Get a pen and journal and this could be the start of something new and exciting.

Last but not least, 2020 is the time to learn to love you. Insta guru Vex King has overcome adversity and uses his personal experiences to inspire others. If you want to transform negative emotions into positive ones and find lasting happiness, then his book, Good Vibes, Good Lives is for you. It’s not that long but by the time you are done, you will start to look at the world, and your world, in a new way.

As always, try your local indie bookshop or library and get books there rather than online, and this will help you feel good, too.

Team Pure Beauty

Top Tips for Returning to Work

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Whether you’re going back to work after maternity leave, have been made redundant or have taken an extended career break, going back to work can be daunting.

We have had a look at how to embrace change and go back to what you love in style.

Confidence
Be it six months or six years, time away from your workplace can leave you feeling a little lost and wondering who you are. Many people find that some of their confidence has gone and a loss of career identity leaves them feeling out in the cold. It’s normal to feel this way, but it is something that you can talk to your HR Manager and team about. If you are up to speed on changes, new staff and anything else major you have missed out on, it will help get you back to your old positive self.

Step back in time
Now is a great time to think about your past achievements and experiences as well as looking at your CV. Focus on what you have done, what you do know and get used to recording new wins and goals. While your confidence may have taken a little bit of a battering, you are still very capable, so when the self-doubt creeps in, go back to that list and celebrate YOU.

Value Yourself
It is really important that you value yourself in all parts of your life when you go back to work. Be sure you ask for the salary you want, as well as the support you need and don’t sell yourself short. If you aren’t’ quite sure what you are worth, do some research, speak to a recruitment consultant and look at sites like LinkedIn so you can get a feel for the land.

Flexible Working is Out There
If you’re looking for flexible working, you need to know that this is possible and there are companies who do offer it. This isn’t just about part-time hours, but compressed hours, working from home, starting the day early or working term time only. Not everyone will offer this but just think about how working life needs to look for you and go for the right fit.

Skill Up
Depending on just how long you have been out of the working game, you might want to get some new skills that will take you further in your career. Whether it is an updated first aid course, a social media seminar or a refresher in Excel, do what you can to make the transition as easy as possible.

Leave Perfection at the Door
No one, absolutely no one is perfect, don’t even go there. Yes, social media feeds will show ‘picture perfect’ people at their desk with manicured nails and a whiter than white smile, but that’s all about the filters and the good days. Do your best and that is more than enough.

Don’t Say Yes To It All
You will want to please your employee, your friends, family, and colleagues, but where do you fit into this picture. Look at your work contract, your hours, obligations and take it from there. Do the shopping online, share chores with your partner and if you need to delegate – do it.

Network
As the saying goes, it’s not what you know but who you know and this is pretty true when it comes to working. Connecting with old colleagues, bosses, HR teams and suppliers can be super helpful and just meeting for a coffee and catching up can lead to the unexpected, and in a good way.

Take It Easy On Yourself
Just as it took time to get used to being off work, you will need to give yourself time to get used to being back in the saddle.
Take each day as it comes, one step at a time and as the days, weeks and months pass by, you will find a new rhythm and even a more confident version of you will start to bloom.

Team Pure Beauty

Top tips for keeping calm

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Keeping calm can be a challenge when time is tight and someone then cuts you up in traffic, closes a door on you or doesn’t deliver their report by an already extended deadline. Anger is a normal, even healthy emotion, but only if you deal with it in a positive way. We have some simple tips that could help you, help yourself.

Think before you speak
In the heat of the moment, it’s really easy to say something you will regret later, so take a moment or two to collect your thoughts before saying anything. Hopefully others will do the same, and the situation won’t escalate into a disaster.

Talk when you are calm
Once you have time to think about things, and your anger has subsided, it is easier to be assertive, and not confrontational. Talk over your concerns without hurting others or controlling them, and life will be easier and calmer and you will stay calm.

Take some timeout
We often think that timeout is just for children, but it is helpful for grown-ups too. Having short breaks during the day offers you a little bit of quiet and can stop you getting angry and irritated. Have a cuppa, walk in the garden, sit and meditate, or just listen to some music and you can catch up with yourself – prevention is better than cure when it comes to heightened emotions.

Exercise = calm
Taking time out to exercise is a brilliant way to look after yourself, and to keep calm. A brisk walk or run, a swim, game of netball or even an afternoon spent gardening, can get your heart rate going and those feel good endorphins will make you feel happy and calm rather than cross and bothered.

Look for solutions
It might seem easier to focus on what depletes your calm reserves, but a better use of your time would be looking to resolving the issues bothering you. Does your son’s mess drive you crazy? Then walk away and close the door, he can clean it up. Is your bestie always late when you meet up? Then take a book and catch up with some reading and make the most of the quiet. Anger doesn’t fix anything, but it can make you feel worse, so curb it and will be calmer and happier.

Don’t bear a grudge
You might not want to forgive and forget, but bitterness can make you feel even worse. Why not be the better person and reach out an olive branch and that way you might learn from the situation and grow calmer and stronger, rather than being angrier than ever.

Have a laugh
If you can to see the lighter side of what is going on, if you search harder enough even that mouldy sandwich on a plate left by your partner under the sofa, might seem funny…….might!

Try to relax
As well as taking some exercise, you can work on your anger by relaxing a little bit more than usual. Meditation, long baths, listening to calming music, writing a journal, doing some yoga or watching a funny movie could help take your mind of your worries and help you to relax.

Seek help if you need to
While anger is a normal emotion, if you are finding it hard to keep things in check and your calm has disappeared, speak to your GP and look at what help is out there so that you and others are safe and well.

Team Pure Beauty

Free your mind

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Stressed?

Over worked and under paid?

Tired?

Anxious?

Far from being words that are banded around for the sake of it, for many of us this is the reality of 21st century living.

We are expected to be on the ball, on trend and down with the kids 24/7 and sometimes, things can get a bit too much.

We have put together some easy ideas of how to free your mind so you can relax and chill out once in a while rather than constantly having your brain in free fall mode.

Breath
Before you do anything else, sit back, count to ten and breath. Focus on your breathing, feel the air go into your body and out and just stop for a few minutes and regroup.

Talk
After breathing, comes talking. If you bottle everything up, then it is only going to get worse and seem harder and harder to deal with. Open up to your partner, mum or a close friend and they may have ideas about how you can make changes and find a positive way forwards.

Live in the moment
Whatever is making you anxious right now, isn’t going to last. Breakdown what is bothering you into manageable chunks and tackle it one step at a time. For example, if you are moving house you might feel overwhelmed, but step back, make a list, work out what needs to be done and if you can, delegate.

Not this again
If you are worried about an interview, think back and see if was the same the last time you went for a new job? If it was, and you got the job, what are you worried about? You aced it last time and we bet it will be the same the time round too.

It’s not all about you!
Harsh we know, but not everything that happens in this world is about you. Yes we can all feel put upon or have our sensitive days, but thinking every situation revolves around you in some way can be really destructive and you could be missing out on a lot of fun.

Look at the bigger picture
Ask yourself whether the issue that is on your mind right now will still be there tomorrow, in a week or in a month. It is unlikely it will be, so regroup, relax and look at what is going on in the world and see there is more to life than a difficult boss or messy flatmate.

Preparing for the worst
I will lose my job. He is going to dump me. She doesn’t want to be my best friend anymore. We tend to jump to conclusions and dwell on the worst-case scenarios and this can lead to stress and depression. It is far better to talk to the person involved face to face and find out what is really going on before you make yourself ill believing the world is about to end.

Take some exercise
Social media, long hours and desk based jobs mean many of us get less exercise than ever. Try to get some fresh air every day and even if you have a brisk walk or a quick swim, your heart beat will go up and the endorphins will pump good vibes around your body.

Laugh
If nothing else, remember to laugh. Life is short so make the most of it and enjoy every single day you have.

Team Pure Beauty