First Date Rules

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Whether you are meeting up as the result of an app, website or are being set up by friends, going on a first date can be a nerve-wracking experience.

We know it can be tough, so have put together some tips on how to get things right so you can save your blushes, and get away with your respect intact if things aren’t working out the way you hoped they would.

Manage Your Expectations
Even before you agree to a time and place to meet, it is a good idea to just take stock of the situation. While love, at first sight, can happen, in many cases you aren’t going to a proposal over that initial cocktail. High expectations are great, but they can create pressure and if the desired connection isn’t made, you can feel disappointed and despondent. See each date as the chance to meet someone new and take it from there and don’t have the Tiffany website on your phone just in case.

Think of Your Safety
We know your date is all about having fun, but you do need to think about safety, so plan to meet for the first time in a public place be that a bar, restaurant or bowling alley. Let a friend you trust know about your plans and call or text them when you are back home. It is easy to get carried away with the romance of a first date but there can be dangers out there so there is no harm in exercising caution at the beginning of something new. You might also want to have a friend who can phone you at a set time which can give you a reason to leave if you want to and don’t drink too much alcohol as you want to be aware of what is happening around you.

Keep the Ex Chat to a Minimum
If you don’t want to put the other person off, you probably don’t want to spend the entire time talking about your ex and don’t compare them to your date. If you are back in the dating game after the end of a longterm relationship, yes it’s fine to talk about that, but going into all the gory details, or even worse crying over the one that got away, won’t do you any favours.

Be Yourself
If you want to find someone who is right for, then you need to be yourself. There is no point in putting on airs and graces to impress someone, wearing designer clothes if you love a bargain from the charity shop, or pretending to have a high-flying career and huge home if that isn’t the case. People want authenticity and honesty and even if the chemistry isn’t sizzling by the end of the evening, by being you, you might end up with a new best friend who likes you just the way you are.

Be Present
There is nothing worse than spending time with someone who isn’t present and interested. While you might need your phone for safety reasons, or to keep an eye on calls from the babysitter, why not put it in your bag and give your date 100% of your attention. Leave the texting, Tweeting, and Instagramming for later on and be in the moment while you are on your date because hopefully, that is where the magic is going to be!

Remember, They Will Be Nervous Too
Let’s be honest here and say that we know that dating can be scary, especially if you’ve been hurt in the past. Dates with someone new can be a gamble for both of you, so if they stutter or tell a bad joke, give them a chance because they might be trying to make a good impression and that bad joke may well be part of their wedding speech one day!

We hope these ideas will help ease your nerves and make you see that you need to go out with an open mind and a smile and you may just be surprised at how your first date turns out.

Pure Beauty

Pack a thriller in your suitcase

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agoraphobic, best friend, best-selling author, bikini, bookshop, café, charming man, chic lit, children, complex web of lies, curious, dark story, date, ddebut author, dead, divorce, Don’t Close Your Eyes by Holly Seddon, edgy, epilepsy, evidence, families, fear, girl, Girl Before by JP Delaney, great reads, gripping story, heart, home alone, husband, husband and wife, innocence, journey, karma, landlord, last word, Lisa Jewell, lives alone, man, marriage, memory, mirror, missing, mistress, One Folgate Street, one session read, page turning twists and turns, Perfect Friend by Barbara Copperthwaite, pool side, protect, psychological thrillers, real, right and wrong, safety, seat, secrets, separated, sinister call, sunglasses, T. A. Cotterell, tense tale, terrifying attack, The Date by Louise Jensen, The Dead Ex by Jane Corry, The Girl on the Train, Then She Was Gone, thriller, toothbrush, tough choice, trust, truth, twin sisters, unanswered questions, What Alice Knew, young age

As well as your bikini, toothbrush, and sunglasses, if you are heading away on holiday this summer, be sure to pack a poolside thriller in your bag.

Offering something a little edgier than chic lit, psychological thrillers have seen a rise in popularity in the past couple of years and there is no end of choice when it comes to great reads.

The Perfect Friend by Barbara Copperthwaite is a truly dark story about the turn Alex’s life takes when her husband leaves her and her children won’t talk to her. All she can do is to turn to her best friend, Carrie, who knows all her secrets and is the only person she can truly trust. Carrie would she’d never let her down, or would she???

Following her divorce, Ali goes out on a date with a new man on Saturday night, but on Sunday morning, she wakes up alone with no memory of what happened to her. And when she looks in the mirror, she doesn’t recognise the face staring back at her. If you loved The Girl on the Train, then The Date by Louise Jensen is for you, and if you haven’t read The Girl on the Train – where have you been?

For a ‘one session read’, it has to be The Dead Ex by Jane Corry. A terrifying attack leaves Vicki suffering from epilepsy and without a husband after he runs away with his mistress. When a call comes to say he’s missing, she starts to believe in karma, but when evidence suggests he is dead, things get real and she needs to prove her innocence.

The Girl Before by JP Delaney is a tense tale full of page-turning twists and turns. When Jane moves into One Folgate Street, she falls in love with her beautiful minimal new, despite the bizarre rules it comes with. As the landlord, and the house, become increasingly strange, Jane becomes curious about Emma, the girl who lived there before her and starts to fear for her safety in her gripping quest to find the truth. Tip, don’t read this if you are home alone, but definitely, do read this.

Secrets in families are never a good idea and that is what is at the heart of Don’t Close Your Eyes by Holly Seddon. Twin sisters Robin and Sarah were separated at a young age and now, in their 30s, one is agoraphobic and lives alone, while the other seemingly has the perfect family and perfect life. When Sarah is accused of something terrible, she needs to track down her twin sister to put together the pieces. A gripping story that will keep you on the edge of your seat right to the very last word.

Back to the husband and wife scenario, and in What Alice Knew, debut author T. A. Cotterell, takes you on a journey of complex web of lies that will have you turning the pages in fear. From the outside, Alice has everything, that is until her husband goes missing one night. After receiving a sinister call, she faces making a tough choice that has her questioning right and wrong and wondering just how far she can go to protect those she loves.

While Then She Was Gone, by best-selling author, Lisa Jewell, isn’t new on the shelves, it is oh so worth a read. Laurel is trying to piece her life back together, 10 years after her daughter, Ellie, disappeared and seven years since her marriage fell apart. When she meets a charming man in a café, their flirtation develops into something deep, fast. Before she knows it, she’s meeting his daughters, and all those unanswered questions that have haunted her about her own child come flooding back.

Pop along to your local bookshop and buy your books before you go away and let us know what you think.

Team Pure Beauty